Never Enough
by MoonytheMarauder1
Summary: It isn't an ideal situation, but Eileen will go through anything to protect her son. One day, she hopes, she'll be able to save them both. Warning for canon abusive relationship


**A/N: Hey y'all! This was written for Hogwarts. Prompts below :)**

**Travel and Tourism Task 10: Write about attempting or having a new beginning **

**Word Count: 2319**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Those right go to JK Rowling.**

**WARNINGS: Abusive relationship**

**Enjoy!**

Severus was something special.

Eileen knew it the moment he was placed in her arms in the hospital. She looked down at that tiny, squashed red face, and knew that he would do great things one day. She vowed then and there to protect him with her life, no matter who was threatening it.

She hadn't realized then that her greatest enemy would be her own husband.

The first few years went by okay. Severus grew to be a healthy, intelligent little boy, and Eileen's heart swelled with pride whenever she looked upon him. But as Severus grew, he began showing signs of magic—something that elated his mother at first, but soon filled her with more fear than she'd ever experienced before.

Magic had never been a problem when it was just Eileen performing it in small, unnoticeable ways, but Tobias hated Severus' random bursts of destructive energy. One day Eileen found her husband with his hand above the little boy's head, but she swooped in to intervene before any real damage could be done.

That day, she chose her son over her husband. It wasn't a choice she ever dreamed of having to make, but in the end, it really wasn't a difficult one.

* * *

Eileen Snape brushed her dark hair away from her face, exhausted of the argument she and Tobias were having.

"There's nothing wrong with him going to school with other children!" she snapped, but she was losing her bite. "You can't just keep him locked up in here!"

Tobias' dark eyes bore into hers menacingly. "And if he slips up there and causes some sort of—of explosion? What then? Bills for me to pay, and our family name ruined!"

"He's gotten so much better at controlling his magic!" she protested. "You haven't even given him a chance to prove himself."

Tobias took a long drink from the bottle clasped in his hand, and Eileen wanted to despair. She hated this lock that he kept on her magic and the absolute control he insisted on having over the house. The alcohol only made him feel more entitled to his self-proclaimed throne.

"He's not leaving this house," Tobias growled, "and that's final."

Eileen closed her eyes. Then she stood up straight and said, "That is _our_ decision to make, not yours. And we haven't come up with a compromise yet."

Tobias took a step forward, but Eileen stood her ground. "This is my house," her husband said softly. "You are just a _witch_ living in it."

The pitter-patter of tiny feet sounded behind her before she could respond. She and Tobias both turned around to see four-year-old Severus watching them anxiously with his dark eyes.

Fear turned icy in her chest, nearly stopping her heart. Severus was supposed to be asleep. Despite the panic inside her, she managed to keep her expression calm.

"Go back to bed, love. Mummy will be up in a little bit."

Severus hesitated in the doorway. "You were shouting," he mumbled.

Tobias' eyes flashed. He advanced towards Severus, whose little frame began trembling. "Mind your mother!" he barked. "You ungrateful little—"

His hand was in the air, and Eileen took action. She raced between her son and husband, completely unprotected when Tobias' fist came crashing into her cheek. She caught herself on the door jam, stunned. Severus burst into startled tears behind her, and Tobias was staring in faint surprise.

Eileen righted herself, then reached down to scoop up Severus. Without looking back, she carried the little boy up the stairs and into his bedroom.

When he was tucked snugly into bed, he looked worriedly up at her. "Are you okay, Mummy?"

Eileen smiled softly. She ran her fingers through his shock of black hair lovingly. "Yes, of course I am."

Severus' eyes were rapidly filling with tears. "Daddy hit you, Mummy. He doesn't want us anymore." His lower lip began trembling.

"No, that's not true!" Eileen hurriedly told him. "The truth is… I don't know what the truth is. Daddy's just having a hard time, is all. He still wants us."

Severus didn't look convinced, but he hugged his mother tightly and wished her goodnight. Eileen kissed his temple and then left the room. She leaned against the wall outside his bedroom and looked up at the ceiling. She wouldn't cry. If hadn't really hurt that much.

But then again, it wasn't really about the physical pain Tobias had caused her.

She slid down the wall and drew her knees to her chest, hugging them. They'd been in love once—she'd given up everything to be with him. She was happy to live mostly as a Muggle—to be the odd one out instead of bringing him to a wizarding neighborhood. She'd never have guessed that he would hate magic so much.

She pushed herself to her feet, heading to her bedroom. Her heart sank when she realized that Tobias was in the bathroom. Eileen quickly changed into her nightgown and slipped beneath the duvet. A few minutes later, she felt Tobias climb into bed. His hand reached over to touch the spot on her face where he'd struck her.

"I'm sorry."

It was painful, this reminder if the man she'd fallen in love with. That Tobias had been funny and considerate. He held he tightly and whispered assurances that her beaky nose and thin face didn't make her any less beautiful to him, that she was the most incredible woman he'd ever met. He danced with her at their wedding, and he didn't mind that she did the washing up in an unconventional way. But her magic could be controlled, kept secret; once Severus began accidentally casting spells, her life had changed. Tobias had changed.

If this was the man she had to share a bed with now, then she'd put up with it for Severus. But she wouldn't just bend to his every whim.

She kept her back to him when she answered. "You tried to hurt Severus."

"He wasn't listening to you."

"Neither were you."

Tobias didn't respond for a long time. Finally, he said, "He can't go to school. You can teach him at home, can't you?"

Eileen sighed. "Yes."

She'd teach him all right. She'd teach Severus everything he had to know to protect himself—jinxes and hexes and anything else that could keep her baby safe. She'd sprinkle in a little Muggle education along the way, but she would get Severus to Hogwarts if it was the last thing she did.

Eileen's green eyes opened a little wider. She'd get that boy to Hogwarts if it was the last thing she did. They were a poor family. If she left with Severus, there wouldn't be anywhere to go. She'd cut all her magical ties when she married Tobias, and she didn't have any Muggle qualifications to get a job. But if she could teach him to be a great wizard, he could escape this place.

She lost every argument with Tobias. She wouldn't lose Severus.

* * *

When her son was six, Tobias was fired from his job. Eileen took one look at him when he came home and pulled Severus out the back door. The little boy didn't seem to understand the reason they had left so quickly, but he didn't mind getting away from his father.

Eileen took him to the nearby park. It was fairly cold out, so they were the only ones there. Of course to Severus, that meant there was no line for the swings. Eileen happily pushed him higher and higher, enjoying his shrieks of laughter and bright eyes.

After a few minutes, he insisted on swinging himself, so Eileen took the swing beside him and watched him clumsily climb through the air.

"Mummy?" he said after a few minutes. "Why is Daddy angry?"

Eileen winced. She'd only caught a few words of his angry ramblings when he'd stormed into the house, but she got the basic idea. "He was… asked not to come back to work, dear. He's just frustrated. We're giving him some space."

Severus swung his feet idly for a bit. "Did they ask him not to come back because he hits people?"

Eileen flushed a dark, unattractive red. "He doesn't hit people, Severus," she whispered, horrified at the thought of him saying such things to someone.

Severus turned his gaze to her, looking suddenly wise beyond his years. "He hits you."

Eileen slid off the swing and gripped her son's hands tightly. "Severus, you can't tell anyone that, do you understand? He just… loses his temper, sometimes. And I promise, we'll move somewhere else once I have enough money. It's just for a little while longer. Then it will be you and me together—okay, Severus?"

The little boy nodded hesitantly. "Will it be soon?"

She smiled tiredly at him. "Yes. Soon."

She tried to convince herself that it wasn't a lie.

Severus nodded. Then he jumped off the swing and wrapped his thin arms around her waist. "I love you, Mummy."

Tears pricked at her eyes. She returned the hug, holding her child close. "I love you too, Severus."

He made putting up with Tobias worth it. She had to get him away from that house, but until she could do that, taking the blows and distracting her husband from his real target would do the trick. She just hoped that it would keep working.

* * *

Years later, Eileen held up an emerald green tie to her son while visiting a shop in Diagon Alley. "This one's in good condition," she said hopefully.

"Oh, come on!" Severus complained. "Mum, this is my first year at Hogwarts. Can't we just… get new things, just this once?"

Eileen frowned, but her chest was aching. "You know we can't do that, Severus. There just isn't enough in our vault."

Severus scowled and looked away. Eileen's heart sank. Severus had been withdrawing into himself in recent years, and she couldn't seem to reach him. Her fights with Tobias had become all the more frequent, and she feared he resented her for keeping them in that house.

But this was a big year for him. All her hard work was finally going to pay off. She went to pay for the tie, shooting her son a smile. He just turned away, hiding his face behind his curtain of greasy hair—an unfortunate trait he'd inherited from his father.

Eileen bit her lip. "Have you and Lily been getting on lately?" she asked softly when she returned to his side outside the shop.

Severus glared at her, looking so very much like his father it took her breath away. The only difference was that Tobias' hair was a dark brown, not black. "Lily and I are fine! You don't have to keep asking me that."

Eileen put a hand on her hip. "Don't take that tone of voice with me. I'm your mother."

Severus looked away. "Dad doesn't love you."

Eileen's hands shook. "That's not true. And besides that, it doesn't have anything to do with how you were just speaking to me."

"Dad doesn't speak to you with respect."

"You are not your father."

"I'm not like you, either!" Severus snapped. His dark eyes glittered angrily, and he stalked off down the street.

She knew she should go after him, but she was frozen on the spot. She wasn't stupid enough to believe that Severus hadn't noticed his parents' failed romance, but she wasn't sure why he was so angry with her. She'd kept her promise. She'd protected him from everyone who wanted to harm him.

She was doing her best to be a good mother. So why wasn't it ever enough?

Heart breaking, she hurried after her son.

* * *

Tobias died in a car crash when Severus was sixteen. For the first time in years, Eileen let herself cry. It wasn't because she was mourning.

They were free of him at last. His paychecks all went to her, and by now she had picked up on a few skills that could be helpful in a menial Muggle job. There would be no more fighting, no more fists flying, no more hoping Severus couldn't hear the worst of the arguments.

Eileen wrote to tell her son of the news immediately. His response came a week later, and she hurriedly abandoned her tea in favor of opening the letter. She read the words hungrily, but her enthusiasm drained out of her as she read.

"Moving out early?" she whispered to herself, blinking at the parchment. She put the letter down and sank into a chair at the kitchen table, stunned.

Severus wasn't coming home in the summer. He was moving into an apartment with some friends from school. Eileen put her head in her hands. She didn't know what she'd expected, really. It wasn't like the absence of Tobias would magically fix her relationship with her son. She'd just hoped that without that pressure, they might be able to reconnect.

But Severus wasn't that little boy who worried when his parents fought anymore. He was nearly seventeen years old, and ready to leave his childhood behind.

Eileen put her head in her hands. Severus expected her to allow him to go, even though it was technically against the law for underage wizards to live without a guardian. But he'd be of age in a few short months—there wouldn't be much point in insisting he stayed.

It was a new start for him, but an ending for her, it seemed.

She wanted to be there so badly. It was all she ever wanted, to be with him. She never had considered that he wouldn't want the same thing.

Eileen sobbed into her hands as she thought of all she'd lost, and all she'd failed to save. Tobias was gone, but she wasn't getting Severus back. She was alone in the world once more.

**A/N:**

**Writing Club: **

**Assorted Appreciation: 11. Narcissa — Write about someone keeping their composure when things go wrong.**

**Disney Challenge: Themes 3. Good vs. Evil — Write about being on the losing side**

**Book Club: Camilla Traynor — (relationship) mother, (scenario) keeping a promise, (word) control**

**Showtime: 12. Days and Days — (emotion) heartbreak**

**Amber's Attic: 20. The Mirabal Sisters — Write about a death that causes a major change**

**Em's Emporium: 1. Alt. Write about the absence of something **

**Angel's Arcade: 1. Link — (dialogue) "Oh, come on!", (color) emerald green, (emotion) brave**

**Bex's Basement: 12. Ed Gein — Write about a mother and son**

**Fortnightly Challenge: **

**Women's History: Narcissa Malfoy — Write about someone protecting their child**

**Alphabetti Spaghetti: Muggle**

**Insane House Challenge: 236. (dialogue) "The truth is… I don't know what the truth is."**


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